The New and Improved Natural Hair Community

hairLifestyle

Jul 1

Judgement free zone

Over the years, the natural hair community has built up a reputation for perpetuating unrealistic goals, not being inclusive of all hair types, demonizing anything that is so-called “damaging” for you hair … I could go on.

More recently the natural hair community transitioned from feeling like an exclusive club where information was gatekept and policed by a select few on YouTube, to a much welcoming and inclusive space, especially on TikTok. Seeing people experiment with new methods and resurfacing trends, sharing cultural traditions, spreading scientific knowledge and debunking myths has been super exciting to witness and be a part of.

The rules are, there are no rules

If you’ve been following me for a while, you will definitely be able to see the journey I’ve been on. From no shampoos, no heat, no dye and no detangling tools, to never skipping shampoo, playing with color, and experimenting with different heat and detangling tools. I think my personal growth was aided by a change of attitude in the natural hair community, from the hard regiment of rules I’d internalized because I used to believe you could only do natural hair one way, to doing what works for me and my hair.

So, if oils work for you, do you. If washing your hair more often or less often works for you, do you. Getting a silk press doesn’t make you any less natural than someone who never touches a heat tool. Bleaching or dying hair your hair doesn’t either. Your hair, your rules!

Do what’s best for you to achieve your goals

I know a lot of us are tired hearing of that “black women can’t grow hair”, and some of us just want to grow our hair to prove we can, but just know that as long as you’re happy with your hair, you have nothing to prove to anyone in terms of length or any other expectations you feel have been placed on you!

Just because someone’s hair looks short, doesn’t mean it’s not growing. Some people prefer short hair and may have goals besides length like maintaining color, volume, or shape. People with dyed hair likely know that bleach and dye come with some risk of chemical damage, but health may not be their goal. People who wear their hair pressed or blown out likely know that this comes with some risk of heat damage. Remember that your hair goals are not everyone’s goals.

There is no “one size fits all”

I think we all know by now that not everything will work for everyone. Unfortunately, this can lead to a lot of frustration when messaging such as “holy grail products” is constantly pushed at us. I can be guilty of participating in this messaging at times but I also try to show that not everything works for me and be transparent about when I feel I use products incorrectly. This is your reminder to take things with a pinch of salt and stick to what you know will work for your hair.

I try to consider whether what a product claims to offer aligns with my personal hair goals and my lifestyle. For example, I tend I look for something that is going to give me enough hold to last through gym sessions, which may mean compromising on volume, but a product with medium hold may give me a little more initial definition with room to achieve more volume as the days progress.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. you can make mistakes. it will grow back.

Hair is literally already dead. I say this jokingly, but it’s also true. I know it’s easy to get attached to our hair, especially when we work so hard and spend so much time and money to maintain it. Over the years I’ve learned to let go of “length goals” and the fear of damaging my hair and having to start over. I love seeing everyone on this carefree journey with me. Personally I’ve experimented with temporary color and semi-permanent dye, all kinds of cuts and shapes, and protective styles, I’ve also big chopped TWICE! Hair can be so meaningful, it tells a story. But hair can also hold trauma. Everyone talks about how freeing it is to cut the hair that holds so much, freed from so many expectations, so many limitations placed on us and our hair.

Have fun in whatever era you’re in

People say natural hair is a lot of work, and this is not to invalidate your feelings, but natural hair is whatever you want it to be. You can spend as much or as little time or money on your hair as you want. If you don’t have so much time to spend on your hair, consider letting go of your own internalized beauty standards surrounding long hair and femininity. Save time, money and sanity by letting go of length and high maintenance color.

If you’re in your gym era like me, maybe try out something like mini twists that are super cute and versatile but also lightweight and extremely low maintenance. You can wash your hair with the twists in, refresh with mousse and get back in the gym, easy peasy!

The most important thing is hair shouldn’t be so stressful, so make your hair work for you!

Your hair, your rules, your story

I share so much about my hair journey over on my YouTube Channel. Hair is a huge part of my identity, but there’s also so much more to me . If you haven’t already seen The Hair Tales on OWN and Hulu it features black women celebrities having meaningful discussions on how hair plays a role in their lives. Tracee Ellis Ross starts the conversation by saying “My hope is that these conversations that we have create more space for belonging and self-actualization,” she says “It can feel like it’s just a conversation about hair. But it’s not. Especially not for Black women.”

What I love most about this series is how it represents how Black women find community in hair. How in a world that often tries to villainize, trivialize and invalidate us, we can come together, reassure and uplift each other through shared stories of hair.

It’s just hair! (but it’s also way more than that)

In 2022 The US House of Representatives passed a bill banning race-based discrimination on hair, specifically textures or styles associated with a particular race or national origin such as dreadlocks, afros and braids.

Discrimination based on hair texture is just one example of how black women are picked apart and politicized. How the hair that grows directly from our heads has been systemically weaponized. A weapon formed against our progress, our hair policed in schools and corporate spaces, facing attacks for “existing while black”.

Natural hair, it’s more than a single adjective and noun, it’s an act of defiance, growing upwards and out instead of facing down. Curls and coils standing up against all we face.